


Left In The Dark

by Ana_Eel



Category: Soul Eater
Genre: Angst, Diary/Journal, Fanfiction of Fanfiction, Gen, Headcanon Accepted, My First Fanfic, Psychosis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:28:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27421213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ana_Eel/pseuds/Ana_Eel
Summary: This one-shot follows Anickov’s premises in “Death walks among us”, a fanfic that focuses in reapers as a species and their characteristics. It is stated there that, more than 800 years ago, before Asura, before the demon weapons and before the witches turning against humanity, there were more reapers on Earth. However, it mentions that there were wars which almost led to their complete extinction. This brief exploration considers some possibilities relating such wars.
Comments: 7
Kudos: 5





	Left In The Dark

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Anickov](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anickov/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Death Walks Among Us](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23047450) by [Anickov](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anickov/pseuds/Anickov). 



_Fragments of a diary, believed to be approximately 1500 years old. The first pages were lost._

… should be arriving to the city of Volkamerian in two days. There is still one stop before, in the town of Olympia. I will be heading there tomorrow at dawn.

**23 AUGUST**

My plan was to travel to Olympia today and go from there to Volkamerian, but apparently, something terrible has happened. I had to stay in the hostel, along with a large group of travelers. There are soldiers in town, but they will not tell was what has happened. There are some rumors; they say everyone in the town of Olympia was found dead. Not even a single survivor. Was it an epidemic? Some form of contamination? Or something else entirely?

**26 AUGUST**

I have spent some days here, hearing all kind of rumors about what occurred there, all varying from the most plausible theories to the most delusional ideas. But today, a group of soldiers came to the hostel’s study. Amongst them was:

“General Boreas” I said, almost spilling tea over my book. The man had not changed a bit since the last time I saw him. Greying hair, tanned skin and stern, focused eyes.

“Professor Thaddeus Constanzo. We’ve been looking everywhere for you” and then he said the words I was hoping to never hear again “We will require your help, once more”

“Is this about… what happened in Olympia?”

“Yes. It was caused by supernatural beings”

“What kind of creature?”

“Reapers”

That was… unexpected. Not so long ago, not even the experts of my field were sure if they really existed. These beings have been worshiped as gods by some people, and discarded as mere superstition by others. According to the legends, they are keepers of the balance between life and death, and protectors of souls. Like with all kinds of magical beings, it is difficult to distinguish the facts from the myth. That is exactly the reason why I decided to dedicate my life to the study of supernatural creatures, after all. Apparently, the general interpreted my prolonging silence as irresolution. He continued:

“Your participation and research was vital on defeating the manticore that scourged the Capital four years ago”

Thanks to that, I am lucky, or unlucky enough, to be somewhat famous. Now Boreas and all these people were here, hoping to find answers I could not provide.

“I specialize on chimaeras and related species. I’m not an expert on reapers”

“Nobody is, professor.”

**27 AUGUST**

The capital is as big and noisy as I remembered it. Fortunately, the Library was as quiet, beautiful and fascinating as in my memory, filled with ancient tomes, its own mysteries, and probably as big as the Palace itself. I went straight there as soon as Boreas allowed me, to focus on the task and hand. I have spent all day here, only taking a few minutes to eat some bread and prepare more tea.

Unfortunately, even with the librarians help, it has been difficult to find any useful information on reapers. Some sources are incomplete, others confusing, contradictory even. These beings are spoken of either in reverence or in dread; some authors considering them of divine nature, others, of a monstrous origin. What they all agree in, is in how powerful they are, their ability to manifest and control shadows, to manipulate gravity and their power to heal almost instantly from any harm. Most importantly: no known weaknesses.

But even after reading all of that, the thing I found most unnerving about them, is that, unlike any other creature I had closely studied, their aspect is almost entirely human. They can only be recognized by some characteristic signs: white marks on their hair, eyes that glow in the dark... Nothing that could not be easily hidden. We all could have met a reaper unknowingly. The thought sends a shiver down my spine. I tell myself this is just the first day of research and consider it is time to get some sleep.

**31 AUGUST**

I found myself in the need to accelerate my investigations. There were news of two more attacks, one of them in a town very close to the Capital. Today, I traveled there with a recognition group of soldiers in order to gather information. It is summer, but as soon as we entered the town, the air felt cold. We saw dozens of bodies, faces forever paralyzed in terrified expressions and silent screams. Not even one visible wound in any of them, it was as if they all died of fear alone, souls ripped away from them. For what we know, only a reaper can kill like this.

A pair of soldiers found a survivor. Only one. A teenage girl, dirt on her curly hair, tears of rage in her brown eyes. She would not talk to anyone.

Our ride back was silent. It was already dark when we arrived to the Capital; I headed straight to the library as soon I put my feet down. It is past midnight now, and I have been examining the section about magic and its crafts. It is a territory I am not familiar with, don’t know if I even want to be, but we might not have any other choice.

**04 SEPTEMBER**

My research brought up a couple of dark, antique spells and chants, believed to be capable of tearing and disintegrating the connection between the body and its soul. Maybe it can work against them, if they even have a soul. The casting of such magic would put a terrible strain on the user, even to the point of transforming their own soul. General Boreas is demanding results and ideas from my investigation, but I do not feel ready to share this yet. Besides, even if it had some effect, the spell requires time to be executed; less than a minute, but the reaper can be faster and tear the caster down to pieces (or strangle them with shadows, or simply rip the soul out of their bodies, or gods know what) before one can even finish the first word.

I feel close to fall into despair. Fortunately, I have made a new friend. The girl who was found alone in that town, has been following me. Sometimes, while I read, she sits on the same table, grabs the books I am consulting and starts passing the pages, stopping on big illustrations. I am certain she can read, but she has kept quiet all this time, refusing to answer any of my questions. Despite all that, she is a comforting presence, and makes me feel less lonely.

**05 SEPTEMBER**

This morning, I brought to work two pieces of bread and an extra cup for the tea. Today was the first time I ever saw her smile.

**09 SEPTEMBER**

Boreas is interested in the girl. He thinks there might be a reason why those creatures spared her. Predictably, he assigned me to investigate that. Not that I could go against his orders. He did not listen, did not want to listen, that she has not told me more than she had to anyone else (which is absolutely nothing). That was the reason why I found myself trying to make her talk, against my better judgement.

“I am sure you are strong” I tried “You survived what no one else did. You must be… special”

That was a mistake, I could see it in the way her expression hardened, and in the words that came out of her mouth, that very first time I heard her voice:

“You seriously think I am something ‘special’?” she almost whispered, before her words turned into a furious yell: “I am not! You been asking me how I feel, what did I see… I´ll tell you now: I saw Death. There were two of them, right in front of me, their eyes were red like blood and their voices pierced my ears. I felt terrified, completely paralyzed. They laughed at my tears. They let me live, not because I am ‘special’, not out of their mercy, but of their cruelty!”

Any attempt to speak died in my tongue. She continued:

“I will make them all wish they had killed me that day”

**10 SEPTEMBER**

I learnt her name today. It is Kenna.

**17 SEPTEMBER**

Three more attacks this week, and those are just the ones within our borders. Surrounding territories have been affected, too. However, this is not all, there have been news that maintain our hopes up. Apparently, there is people able to access some form of inner capabilities of their souls. Some of them can perceive other people’s souls, allowing them to recognize who is human and who is not. We have called this ability soul-perception. They explained us that the reapers do have a soul, that it is large, full of energy and of a different “color” than that of a human being. How they are able to perceive such things escapes my understanding. However, they have assured us that anyone who sees one of them, would be able to recognize it for what it is, even if it is the first time they ever find one. Other group of individuals can use the raw power of their souls as an attack, which damages the target’s soul directly. We call this technique soul-wavelength. Maybe, these abilities can be developed enough to rival those of our enemies. Along with Boreas, we are planning strategies to mount our first offensive.

**25 SEPTEMBER**

I discovered Kenna has been practicing magic. A couple of my notes had disappeared, also one of the books. At first, I had blamed it on my own distractedness and anxiety. Kenna had been staying in the military base, the cooks taking care of her. As I exited late at night of a meeting with Boreas, I found her in the garden, making rocks levitate around her.

“I know you found a very special spell” she told me “Did you tell the general _that_?”

“Kenna, this is… it is too dangerous…”

“I know. I have already tried it. With flies” she smiled “They all died”

My face went pale, I felt my hands tremble, and tried to speak:

“Kenna, how could you..! Don’t you know it might hurt you, damage your very soul?!”

“I don´t care” Her jaw set, her eyes fixed on mine “I’m going to kill them all”

“Reapers aren’t flies”

“They’ll die the same”

“Kenna! You can’t..!”

“I am strong! You said it yourself!”

“I won’t let you…” I started to say.

The sound she made was almost a huff, almost a sob.

“Who do you think you are, anyway? My dad? My parents are dead! Guess what killed them!”

“What’s going on here?”

It was Boreas. Just how much did he hear? He was looking at Kenna, stones still floating around her. More than surprised, his tone was of resignation:

“It is a known fact females have a deeper affinity with magic”

“Boreas, you can’t..!”

“Constanzo…” He said, his voice tired “Let’s just let the girl decide”

“I’ve already made my choice. I will do it” Kenna said.

The rocks fell with a loud crash.

**01 OCTOBER**

The soul-perceivers found a group of reapers in a small town. Whether they are only spying or planning to attack it, we do not now. All we know is that we have to act immediately. We are heading there now. Our team brought a pair of soul-perceivers, soldiers armed with swords and crossbows, and two users of soul-wavelength. Kenna came too, along with a group of young women, just as inexperienced but as determined as she is.

We don’t think any of these attacks alone could be enough to actually kill one of them, our only hope is to use both the conventional weapons and the soul attacks to weaken them, then let the women cast the spell. And survive, if we are lucky. My position is the least dangerous of all, my duty is to keep distance and observe the results. I did not know if I felt relieved or ashamed because of that. I looked at Kenna and realized it was the second.

**02 OCTOBER**

Just after the team found the first, and word was spread that there were reapers in town, it all quickly devolved into chaos. It was midday, and the streets were full. I could see people running in every possible direction, trying desperately to escape. I entered a small barn, in fear that the panicked stampede would easily crush me. Part of the ceiling was missing, creating a game of light and darkness inside. As I sat on a hay and tried to recover my breath, I saw someone got the same idea as me. I could barely see a slim frame open the door and close it quickly, just as scared as I was, judging by the frantic moves. As my eyes adapted, I could distinguish better the newcomer. The first thing I saw was the white on his hair… As my heart accelerated, again, I tried to rationalize that it proved nothing. Suddenly, its head turned around and looked straight to where I was, eyes shining golden. For a moment that felt like eternity, we only stared at each other in astonishment, but as soon as I came up of my stupefaction, I prepared to jump and get the hell out of that place.

In a split second, I could feel its shadows grasping me, surrounding my entire body, giving me no chance to move a muscle. Before I could open my mouth to scream, a shadow was there too, keeping my lips shut. The creature approached me, and all I could think was that this was it, this was the end, I was at the mercy of a monster, those glowing eyes would be the last thing I ever saw…

“I’m not going to hurt you” it said softly, coming out of the dark “Please, listen to me”

My team should be close; they would arrive, in any second…

“I am letting you go now,” it said, almost in a whisper “Please… don’t scream…”

The shadows retreated as if they had never been there, and I was too terrified to make any sound, anyway. Now that it was better illuminated, I could see clearly the pair of white lines zigzagging through his hair like lightning. Outside of the dark, its eyes had lost that uncanny glow, leaving them the color of honey. If I did not know better, I would have taken it for a human boy, one barely out of his teens.

“We are trying to stop them, too”

“You are one of them…” I managed to say

“I am on your side”

“Of course you are!” I shrieked.

“We are not like them! They lost faith, they forgot about balance, and gave into madness.”

“What?”

The door blew open. My team was here. As fast as lightning, the reaper turned around and headed to a window, trying to escape, but a pair of arrows got it. Not that they would kill it, but they managed to slow it down.

“Wait…” I said.

Two soldiers grabbed me and dragged me outside, covering me with their bodies, as I saw both wavelength users hit the creature on its chest, a piercing cry and a pained expression on its face.

“WAIT!” I yelled.

I lost sight of the events inside the room, but I could hear the women start the spell. Then, a scream that was not human.

**03 OCTOBER**

We have just arrived back at the capital. With four confirmed kills, this is our first important success. The team decided to reunite and… celebrate. I could not bring myself to join them. Maybe it is that I was used to deal with creatures that did not look so human, like chimaeras and manticores, but…

_(the next page was ripped here)_

**04 OCTOBER**

The team’s good mood was short lived. The town we had just left, that we thought was now safe, was attacked during the night. Nobody was left alive. Was it retaliation? A revenge for their fallen kin? For most of those around me, the answers to these questions are obvious. But I am not so sure anymore. I cannot take out of my mind that creature’s words:

“We are trying to stop them, too”

**12 OCTOBER**

“It was lying, trying to get into your head”

“It did not attack me, or any of us…” I told Boreas.

“Listen, my goal is to vanquish them, not to understand them”

I would beg to differ, as I believe the first is not even possible without the second, but I chose to keep quiet. The general continued:

“I know you feel it is your job, what we brought you here for, but… you are wasting your time if you believe you can think like they do. Try to focus on what we can actually do.”

I would like to do that, but my memory of the encounter with the reaper is as vivid as the first day, and keeps bringing up new questions. Like each of its words conveyed its own world of meaning. Maybe Boreas is right and ~~he~~ it was just trying to get into my head.

**22 OCTOBER**

Other teams have been created all over the country, following our example. They recruited both those who already had some form of soul ability and those willing to learn and use magic. Mainly women comprise this last group, probably because of having so many men in the army already.

In just two days, these new teams were able to raid three towns, slaying any reaper stationed there. Just as what had happened before, the towns were attacked later, during the night.

I asked Boreas for those teams’ assaults reports. I have read all of them: every single one of the reapers that were killed were trying to either escape or hide. Also, none of the soldiers or other participants had been directly injured during these attacks. I was considering alternative possibilities, including that maybe the reapers stationed in towns were weaker. But then I remembered it. The way it got me in its shadows in less than a second. ~~It~~ He wasn’t weak.

**28 OCTOBER**

A change of strategy in necessary. Any small success we get is followed by an even bigger massacre. We are elaborating a new plan. After we hunt a stationed group of reapers, we will not leave town immediately. Another group of them would be coming at night, but we will be there, and we will be ready. General Boreas is worried, as the darkness will give our enemies a tremendous advantage. But we won’t leave all those people unprotected.

**01 NOVEMBER**

We went for some of them this morning. There were only two, but that number meant nothing. With the efforts of the whole team, we barely managed to get one. The other escaped, almost making it look easy. I could see, only for a second, the yellow eyes, the straight lines on his head, I had never seen a creature move that fast. Kenna punched a wall, and screamed in frustration.

It is almost night. We are waiting.

***

**03 NOVEMBER**

I do not know if they are still following me. They took everything from me. My backpack, my books, my coat, and all of my provisions. I managed to bring this diary inside my sweater. Right now, I am hiding in the forest, a small cave that can barely keep me dry in the rain. I do not know if anyone will ever read these, but I have to put some order in my mind, about the dreadful events that occurred the night of November 1st.

***

They arrived at night. Since the first moment I saw them, I realized they were completely different from those we had found in the morning. My team did not stand a chance. The soldiers had no time to react as the shadows grasped and broke their weapons, then their bodies. The users of soul-wavelength got no opportunity to use their ability. With their speed, the creatures easily dodged the furious fists, before getting bored and going for their throats.

I hid in a half-constructed building, along with two soldiers and one of the women; we tried to keep quiet while watching the door, holding our breaths.

A shadow appeared, then glowing red eyes, and dark hair crossed by white.

The two soldiers rushed against him, but he only laughed as his shadow sent both soldiers against a wall. They hit it with a loud crash, then the floor. They did not get up.

We were used to reapers running away.

The woman started the spell, but the next second, he was in front of her. I swear I could hear the bones breaking at the inhuman strength of his hands.

We really were not a match against them

Soon, I was the only human left standing. His red eyes fixed on mine. In that moment, I just wished I were brave. All I could do was try to retreat, trembling, but then I felt the floor move below me and fell down. I tried to get up but the same thing happened, as my own shadow shifted below me again. Desperate, I tried to drag myself away, but his shadow got an iron grasp on my foot, like the claws of a cat holding the tail of a mouse. His giggle filled me with dread. I was his plaything. The footsteps approached me slowly, until I could feel the cold touch of his skin, as his fingers caressed the back of my neck, making me shiver. I closed my eyes, completely sure I was feeling his touch in my very soul, ready to grasp it and rip it away. But something else got him first.

The shadow let me go instantly. I opened my eyes and looked back, to see a second reaper fighting him, my eyes finding difficult to follow the speed of their moves, as I crawled on the floor. By the time I reached the corner of the room, it was all over.

The red-eyed reaper laid unmoving on the floor, the newcomer was on his knees, next to him. His fingers carefully closed the eyes of the fallen and whispered some words I could not understand. I saw his eyes were yellow, and the lines on his hair were completely straight. I recognized him. He was the one who managed to escape earlier. Without looking at me, he got up and headed to the door.

“Wait!” I yelled, trying to get up. To my great surprise, he actually halted. What should I ask first? Are you..? Is this..?

“What’s happening?”

After a moment, he answered.

“We are here to stop them”

“You are fighting them… too?”

“There is no other way to end their madness”

His expression was blank, avoiding my eyes.

“You are divided” I said.

That explained it all, didn’t it? Realization dawned in my face…

“Those we killed…” I started. He remained silent, and I continued, “They were there to stop them… too”

He nodded, slowly. It all made sense now...

Why were some of them stationed in towns, which were peaceful until _we_ arrived. Why had it been so… easy at first. Why they never fought back. So many of those, who were trying to stop them, who could _actually_ stop them, had died because of us. By the plans, strategies and investigations I helped make come true... 

The reaper started to walk, again heading to the doors. I tried to reach him.

“Don’t go! Please! We have to explain them”

“There is no time”

“Please!”

He was standing in the threshold now, but did not move. Was he considering my proposition?

“You really think your people would listen?”

There was reproach in the words, but not in the tone. Only authentic inquiry. I could not bring myself to answer immediately.

“All I want is this war to end” I finally said.

That seemed have some effect in him, as he turned and looked me in the eyes for the first time. His were like gold, and I felt that they stared straight into my soul. I could understand in that moment why so many people from times before our own had considered them of a divine origin. So absorbed I was, that I almost did not see the big frame that reached the door in that exact moment, raising a sword.

“BOREAS, NO!”

The sword entered through the creature’s back. In a second, shadows manifested, throwing the general back, the sword coming out of the reaper’s body, as he fell on his knees, bleeding profusely. As he went down, I saw someone else coming from behind him.

“Kenna!”

She pronounced the first words…

“STOP!”

I jumped and grabbed her, shutting her mouth with my hand.

“No no no!”

I turned my head enough to see more soldiers arriving, as the reaper got up trembling and climbed a wall in seconds, making it impossible for them to follow him. Something got me in the head and then it was all blackness to me.

***

I woke up in a dark room. A small lamp illuminated the faces of Kenna, Boreas, and two more soldiers. I realized I was sitting on a chair, handcuffed.

“What happened?”

“YOU HELPED IT ESCAPE!” yelled Kenna. There were tears in her eyes.

“Kenna…”

“YOU BETRAYER!” she cried, and for a moment, I feared she would destroy my soul with her eyes.

“Stop it” said Boreas, and she turned to exit the room, failing to hide the falling tears. The general turned to me again and said with an exhalation “Thaddeus Constanzo, you know the punishment for treason?”

Treason?

“What?”

“Some witnesses, said they saw you talking to it”

“Yes! Boreas, it’s not like we thought, they are..!”

“Constanzo, please save that for the trial”

“What?! No, no, it can’t be..!”

“You must know your charges: conspiring with an enemy, obstructing procedures, assault on a member of your own team…”

“Boreas, you can’t possibly believe…”

“That’s right, I don’t believe this!” he said, finally letting some of his anger spill out “…but I know what I saw”

I was completely mute. He got up with a sigh and went to the exit.

“Goodbye, Thaddeus”

***

Some hours had passed; I had been sitting in the dark all that time, thinking it all over and over. The sight of all those horrors still fresh in my mind, the uncertainty about my own future, my wish to explain it all, now that it finally made some sense. But there was no point. I was lost. The only punishment for treason during war is death. A part of me was still surprised they did not kill me in the spot, should I place some hope in the perspective of a trial?

No, I should not. All my life studying the most deadly creatures, and all these weeks, having nightmares of monstrous shadows and glowing eyes. But in the end, it was going to be human beings the ones that would kill me. A thought came to my mind: maybe this is no so different to what _they_ felt, as they died at the hands of those they wished to protect.

Maybe this was fair.

The crack of the opening door pulled me out of my thoughts.

“Kenna?”

“I need you to answer me…” she stated, getting straight to the point “Why did you do it?”

“We were wrong, Kenna. They aren’t all the same…”

“Of course they are!”

“They are divided, not all of them are our enemies... Some are trying to help us”

“That’s what it told you?” She almost laughed “And you believed it?!”

“He saved me…”

“Saved you how?”

“Another one had gotten me, he killed him”

“Now they kill their own kind, too?! Doesn’t surprise me!”

There was nothing to say. She would not believe it.

“You are so naïve, it obviously tricked you!” she exclaimed. After a moment of silence, she continued “I haven’t forgiven you. I don’t think I ever will…”

I felt her magic surround me, focusing on the handcuffs that held my wrists, making them click and fall.

“But… I don’t want you to die, too”

I looked at her, confounded.

“I’ve already lost so much…” she said, more to herself than to me, looking down. Then she turned her face back to mine “Just go! Go away! I ask from you only one last favor…”

She turned around, giving me her back as she said:

“Never come back”

***

I have been running from the soldiers since that moment. If they find me, when they find me… Will they hang me? Or cut off my head? Make me drown, or burn? I can almost feel them, breathing behind me, getting closer.

**5 NOVEMBER**

I thought I had lost them, but now I am sure they are still following me. I had found some fruits and fresh water, but suddenly, I heard their voices and had to run again. The souls-perceivers keep finding me.

There is no place to hide.

**?? NOVEMBER**

I don’t know how many days have passed. I am so hungry and thirsty, the nights keep getting longer and colder. All I have done is run, hide for a few hours and then run again. I can only drink some water and eat some roots at the time, before I hear their voices again, getting closer. They say I am a betrayer, that I am worthless, that I am cowardly and pathetic.

Their voices won’t let me sleep at night.

**NOVEMBER**

Kenna is betraying me. She tells them where I am going, where I am hiding, what I am thinking… She whispers in my ear that she will keep it secret, but then she tells them, that witch!

**NOVEMBER??**

NOW.

Now.

Red eyes are watching. They are controlling my mind, stealing my thoughts...

**AUGUST???**

Boreas came to the study, again. But the hostel is closed. It won’t open.

Because everyone is dead.

**NOVEMBEROCTOBERSEPTEMBERAUGUST Olympia - Volkamerian**

**MYNAMEISTHADDEUSCONSTANZO**

My eyes become bright brighter than light I even see the dead and talk to them as if they were alive no one hears no one’s here no now he is here no one would believe no one would be alive he is a monster he wants souls he plays with me I am scared with fear is more is years in the night it gets inside my head many things I need they don’t know don’t you tell them

***

_The next four pages of the diary are illegible._

***

**03 DECEMBER**

I woke up in a small room, made of stone, strange symbols carved in the walls. I was resting in a bed of wood and hay. I could not remember how I got here. It was like coming out of a long, bad dream, there were some nebulous images and confusing sensations, already escaping from my memory, a fading nightmare. Next to me, a cup with water, bread and some apples. Before my fuzzy brain could make any questions about what I was doing, I drank all the water, ate the whole bread and some of the fruit.

I got out of the room, to long and dark hallways, with multiple doors along the way. I headed towards a light, which seemed to be an exit. As I walked towards the more illuminated hallway, I could hear… children laughing?

As I crossed a small exit, I found myself in a garden, surrounded by walls of stone. Then I saw something I would not have believed, or even imagined. Two children playing and laughing, a little boy and a slightly older girl. Both with small white marks on their hair. They stopped and looked at me, two pairs of yellow eyes.

In the blink of an eye, the boy ran and hid in a bush of yellow-orange flowers, while the girl stayed in the same place. She said something I could not understand.

“What?”

“You are awake!”

“What is this place? Am I… dead?”

“No, you are not! Believe me, we’d knew if you were” she said.

It had never occurred to me to think whether they had young. From the other side of the garden, I saw a figure approaching. The younger child came out of the bush and ran to hide behind his dark robes. As he came closer, I realized it was the reaper from before, the one with the straight white stripes.

“Where am I?”

“This is our temple. You are safe here” he said.

“Why am I here? What happened?”

“The madness, it got you” he told me, his expression solemn “We made you sleep through most of it”

“How long… have I been here?”

“Three weeks”

What?

“We found you in the forest,” he continued “not too far from here”

What kind of state had they found me in, I did not want to imagine. There were so many important questions now, a turmoil inside my head.

“You should rest…” he started.

“Why did you help me?!” I could not contain myself “We’ve been killing your people…”

His expression did not change. The young child had peeped his face to look at me, but quickly hid it again at my words, or my tone.

“I hold no ill will towards you” he spoke “As I said, it would be better if you continue resting”

As we walked back inside the dark hallways, I watched again the strange scriptures in the walls.

“If this is a temple, you are..?”

“I am a priest”

I looked at the little boy, who was showing his face again.

“He is my son,” he said, figuring out my untold question. Almost as a reflex, I looked back to see the small girl, advancing with small jumps, not far behind us.

“She is not. She is an orphan now”

Those words, spoken flatly as if simply stating a fact, pierced at my heart, and all I could think in was in the words of someone else: “Guess what killed them”

Guess what killed them…

“You were doing what you thought you had to” the priest said suddenly.

Can these creatures read minds?

“I can see your soul, that way I can perceive your feelings. Your curiosity. Your regrets and fear. Your hope, too”

I was completely astounded, and could only nod with my head as I entered my assigned room again, to rest in the small, but soft and warm bed.

We really knew nothing about them.

**06 DECEMBER**

I have met more of them. In the last three days, I have learnt more about reapers than I ever did in the library. They can live for hundreds of years, they have their own language, culture, legends and religion. A lifetime would not be enough to learn all that there is about them. Little more than a month ago, I would not have believed I would be sharing a table with one, much less more of them. I have slept soundly, knowing I am not in danger with them around.

There is not only gardens here, but a big orchard as well, and a cemetery beyond it. There are rooms full of books and rolls, which I unfortunately cannot read, as they are written in the same ancient, arcane language that decorates the walls. The friars mostly keep to themselves, to their solitude and enigmatic prayers, barely acknowledging my presence, without hostility, but without interest. Only the kids seem to be especially curious about me. Some of the smallest follow me around, hiding badly in the shadows, like a human child behind a thin tree. I think they are looking at my “weird” soul. They run away when they realize I can see them. Others approach me in groups of two or three, and make me all kinds of questions.

I suppose that, no matter the species, children are children.

**07 DECEMBER**

I know now why there are so many kids in here. Their families are out there, fighting those corrupted by evil… Or getting killed by our soldiers and witches.

Some of the children were born from only one parent. Apparently, most of them, if not all. It seems that they have more than one way of reproducing. One of them told me he was born from a “tiny piece” of their parent’s soul. At first, I was certain that it was just their own version of the story of the stork, but I am not so sure anymore.

I guess I could ask the older ones, but I really have no idea about how to start a conversation about reproduction mechanisms with any of them.

**12 DECEMBER**

The priest said that the witches are becoming more powerful, their souls becoming unrecognizable as something human anymore. They have been developing new techniques and spells, using the souls of diverse animals as a source of power. The use of creatures’ souls like that makes him feel… angry? Disgusted? Horrified? It is difficult to read his feelings. His speech is almost monotone, and his expressions are barely perceptible. I think I am missing most of their unspoken communication, being unable to see souls as they do.

I cannot stop thinking of Kenna, the magic in her, an already unstable and dangerous power.

Fueled by hatred and will to destroy.

**18 DECEMBER**

The children are trying to teach me their language. They point at different things that we find around us and that they bring to me as we walk through the orchard. “Apple” and “apple tree”; “flower” and “flower crown”; “shovel”, “hoe” and “scythe”. No matter how interesting I find this task, tongues have never been my specialty. They laugh at my poor attempts, but I still have not given up trying to pronounce the words, and each of their names.

**21 DECEMBER**

In the most antique, hidden depths of this place, I found an image of their God. Darkness has a heart. They say He loves Life.

The priest disappears practically every night. I have seen his son crying in silence. I found myself praying to Him, that he may come back.

**28 DECEMBER**

The temple was attacked yesterday.

At night, a small group of witches came, bombing the walls and burning the doors.

The few older reapers were striving not to strike, but to attract and distract the witches, to give the children time to escape through the dark, underground ways of the temple. As the friars fell one by one, I thought that, at least, the children would be safe. Then, I realized in horror one of them had lagged behind. He was cornered against the stone walls, unable to escape from one of the witches.

One I recognized.

Kenna towered over the child, a menacing purple glow surrounding her, her arms raised like the wings of a bird of prey, her eyes fixed on the little kid. But I could see the hesitation in her steps. Maybe she was not expecting to find children here.

Without thinking, I ran and put myself between her and the kid.

“Thaddeus!” Her face showed surprise for a moment, before the anger returned. She spoke dangerously “Move aside or I’ll make you...” 

“He is a child!”

“It is a monster…” she answered, but I could hear a waver in her voice.

“Please, listen to me…”

“Why are you siding with them?!” she roared “They only bring death. My family, our people, Boreas!”

I could not believe what I was hearing. Boreas was…?

“I got there too late…” she continued “But I avenged him. Took down those demons”

With renewed vigor, she raised her arms again.

“Please, Kenna! He is not like them!” I begged, as I held her wrists in my hands “He is… just like me and you!”

She retreated, freeing herself from my hands, her glow flickering and diminishing. She looked at the child as if seeing him for the first time, small and terrified, his little arms trying to cover his head, the tears falling from his cheeks…

“No, no… You are wrong! I am nothing like that thing, I am not!”

She looked at him again.

“I am not… ” she said, but her glow disappeared completely.

Another witch arrived to the scene.

“Kenna!!” she called.

“…It’s over, we are leaving”

“Are those two..?”

“WE ARE LEAVING!!” Kenna repeated.

She turned around and ran away.

**04 JANUARY**

I will have to leave this place in the next days, the priest says that soon, it will not be safe for me anymore. He told me the attacks have stopped, that this will be all over soon. He refused to give me any more explanations, but I cannot find it in me to doubt him.

I cannot go back to my city of origin. I am afraid I would be arrested, even executed as soon as I am found.

Foresta is a small city beyond the borders of this country, far from here and almost isolated. I could live a peaceful life there. Possibly, even keep publishing my works, under a different name of course. Or maybe, I could continue traveling, keep going even further away...

**08 JANUARY**

I left the temple this morning. I crossed the border a few hours ago, now I am preparing to spend the night in a small hostel. I should be arriving to Foresta in two days. Before I left, the children brought and gave me provisions: bread, ham and cheese, fruit and some weird sweets, made of sugar, shaped like skulls and colorfully decorated. Also, a dark overcoat to protect me from the cold wind.

I am preparing to sleep now, thinking about how quick some things can change, spin up and down, and never be the same again.

What will happen, I do not know.

In one of our conversations, the priest told me that, to maintain balance between the realms of life and death, it would be enough even if only one reaper alone was left. That their mere existence keeps the cycles working. I think about that, and remember all the lives that we took, a contrition that will never end.

_The Diary ends here. Not a single work or document attributed to or signed by professor Thaddeus Constanzo has been found, though some believe the anonymous works “A brief study on chimaeras“ and “On manticore behavior” came out of his pen._

**Author's Note:**

> The characteristics mentioned mostly follow Anickov’s descriptions, including the idea of the Temple, their religion and the family of priests.
> 
> About the names: “Olympia” is the name of a character from E. T. A. Hoffman’s amazing horror story “The Sandman”. “Volkamerian” is a type of hybrid citric. The word “Foresta” means “Absent” or “Away” in Esperanto, and by coincidence, it sounds like “forest” in other languages. “Boreas” is the greek personification of the northern wind. “Kenna” is a name that means “born from fire”. When I thought of “Thaddeus”, I felt that name fitted him perfectly. It was after writing this that I was reminded of our San Judas Tadeo (not the traitor Iscariote), catholic patron Saint of Lost Causes, but I made that association later. “Constanzo” is a name that means “constant” or “persistent”. So… his full name combines: “persistence” and a “lost cause” (and “I am not the traitor, please”).


End file.
